On today’s show, I have the amazing Ashley Bledsoe. Her and I go balls deep in relationships on this episode. Everything about them, about communication, about how you can have better quality relationships. All the work that she has been doing in her personal relationship. Also she shares some major road bumps and milestones in her relationship, that have helped her have the amazing relationship she has today.
I’m really happy to share this with you. I think that it is so important, that relationships affect all of our life, and you could say that the better quality of relationship the better life that we have.
Enjoy the show and as always, thank you for listening.
Ashley Bledsoe is the creator of The Communication Code: Redefine Your Relationship Course. She guides couples to create a powerful partnership, through the “Reset Method”.
Her personal life mission is to heal romantic relationships. In her own relationship, she discovered how much you can heal, learn and grow with each other.
It was because of her own experience and curiosity of discovering why we choose the partners we do, and why our relationship changes over time. She has learned we can create the relationships we want and guides other couples how to do it for their own relationship.
Angelo: Ashley Bledsoe, how are you?
Ashley: I’m so good. How are you?
Angelo: I’m doing well, I’m doing well. Thank you for being on the show, I really appreciate it.
Ashley: Yeah, thanks for having me.
Angelo: For those of you that do not know Ashley, Ashley Bledsoe is the better half of Mike Bledsoe, but Ashley also specializes in I would say two things: one helping people feel amazing because I’ve been able to spend a lot of time with Ashley and she has a great way of making sure that everyone that’s in the room or in the area feels really good, and she is somebody that I’ve gone to and discussed my relationship with and gone to for advice about relationships. She seems to have a very interesting way of looking at relationships and also for me too where I’m in a position where I’m an entrepreneur and somebody in business and my wife is also somebody that’s striving to be an entrepreneur and create a business, it’s shifting hats and shifting how that really works in your home life and how that works has been amazing to be able to confide in Ashley and get advice on. Ashley thank you again for being here. Tell me a little bit about you now. Now you are back in Encinitas, you are done with the nomad life?
Ashley: Back in Encinitas we have a room—so when we were traveling one of the things that we really wanted during our travel is: how fast can we create a community and connection with people. That was something we wanted to keep when we moved back. We live in a house with four other roommates, and if you’d asked me nine years ago when Mike and I got married if ever I would have roommates I would have thought no. yeah, we live in a room sharing a house with other roommates and absolutely love it.
Angelo: That’s awesome. I know you are in Encinitas is now, and we’ll touch on the roommates, but how was the nomad experience for you?
Ashley: It was wonderful. Michael and I we decided to go nomadic in December 2018 and we were like, ‘let’s do it in March’, and then we ended up pushing it forward, moving it. We ended up February 1, is when we decided to go nomadic, and we sold everything. We were renting our house, we found someone to take over the house who lived in the area, we wanted to keep it in the community because it was a nice house. Then we just sold all of house stuff and we lived out of our bags for five months. We got to spend a lot of time with each other and that was something we wanted too. We had just really shifted our relationship.
In 2018 we took a month apart, really created a space for ourselves. We were playing some roles that we really didn’t like how we were showing up in our relationship, and so it was good for us to take some space and really look at is this the relationship that we want to stay in? How do we want to show up for each other? What can we change so we can have the relationship that we really desire to have? Then we did training camp for the soul with a knot, and that showed up a lot of the roles that we were playing that we had learned from mom and dad and just growing up, so we decided that we just wanted to have some time with each other and travel around.
When we were around each other 27/7 a day for the whole entire five months I think we only had one argument, and I wouldn’t even call it an argument, we just had this one moment of I’m frustrated with this and I’m frustrated with that and we were able to work through it really fast. It was just a really beautiful opportunity to spend time with each other and to let go of all the stuff that we thought we needed to have and just see all we needed was just each other and our ability to connect and communicate and deepen our intimacy, our connection. It was a lot of fun.
Angelo: It’s so awesome that you guys did that. For you, of the places that you went, which one felt the most natural to feel like home out of all the places and cities that you guys were at?
Ashley: I would say there was two: one was Costa Rica. Just going international traveling somewhere else to another country is an experience in itself, learning how to speak some of the language and also being okay with getting lost was a lot of fun. I love the feeling that Costa Rica brings, it’s just a beautiful place.
The weather is nice. We were there for a Mastermind so we were able to connect with a lot of people there, and then we went to Envision Fest and you were there as well, and all that.
Ashley: I’d say Costa Rica was fun, we got to really play a lot and we even stayed a week afterwards just to decompress and be in Costa Rica for as long as could be. Then I would say my second favorite would be Houston, I really enjoyed Houston, Texas. While we were there we spent 10 days with our friends D and Michael Cazayoux, I think living there showed us that with the right people you can live in a house together and it flows really nice and easy. I just love spending time with them and getting to know them even more.
Angelo: That’s awesome. So you guys go through the nomadic experience and you are with each other all the time and now you decide that you are going to go back to Encinitas, how did you guys come to living in a place with roommates?
Ashley: When we decided we wanted to come back what we learned and what we both discovered was we were wanting some more grounded-ness. With nomadic you go into a new place and you are there for a little bit, at least how we did it, we went somewhere and we were there for 3-5 days and sometimes over there for 10 days, but we were always moving places within 10 days and we just missed having a home base. When we moved here we decided to have a home base, and just have that. That was why we wanted to come back.
Angelo: It’s awesome. How long did you live in Encinitas before you guys left?
Ashley: 3½ years.
Angelo: So Encinitas is pretty much home for you right now?
Ashley: Yeah, it’s home. When we came back we still wanted the freedom to travel and less responsibility. So we were like, how can we have freedom to travel and less responsibility? Well, we don’t need to have a whole house we can find some people that we enjoy, so that was where we were looking at when we came back. It just happened we texted our good friends Aiden and Valery and we were like, ‘hey, by any chance do you have a room?’ Just kind of joking in a way too, and Valery was like, ‘actually, our roommate just gave us a 30-day notice’. We were like, ‘perfect, we are coming back in 30 days’. This was ease and flow, and that was my mantra for a time while we are traveling: it’s my life flows with ease and grace. It was just like this seemed like the perfect match that the universe gave us, like these were the people that we want to live with that would be our ideal roommates. A room opened up and we took it.
Angelo: That’s awesome. Like we mentioned before you are really focusing on relationships, tell me how you really began to dive into this area, a lot of us are in relationships but don’t practice getting good at relationships, so I would be really interested to hear how your origin or fascination of developing a great relationship started.
Ashley: Michael and I have been married for almost 9 years in January. We had a little rocky start, which I think happens in all relationships, there is up and downs in it. Our first three years of marriage Michael was starting Barbell Shrugged and was traveling a lot. Our communication skill was not great, and it became where I felt more like a roommate than I did a partner. One day Michael came home after being at a Mastermind with Eben Pagan and he just had an experience where he realized in order to grow a business you need empathy, and if he had no empathy for his wife how could he have that for his audience?
So he sat down with me and just started asking me questions, and from that moment I was like, wow, this is what it feels to connect, like really connect. He kept asking me, ‘tell me more, tell me more’, and would just let me continue until I run out of words. I would say that was the first, then moving here to Encinitas we started doing some Masterminds with Barbell Shrugged Barbell business and just connecting with a lot of the people that were there. A lot of the conversation was around how I showed up for Michael in the Masterminds and how I handled him traveling and the business and working all the time, and all that.
I saw that can be a common thing in relationships especially in the entrepreneurial lifestyle; someone’s working a lot, there is a challenge in balancing work and relationship. A lot of times the conversations can end up in work conversations and there can be a disconnect in the relationship, so I just started seeing that then one day we were putting attention into growing a business or putting attention into growing our lifestyle, but are we putting attention into our relationship? We saw that we weren’t as much as we would like to, so that’s when we started going to relationship workshops, finding relationship mentors. I really just saw a lot of it for me I grew up thinking that a relationship needed to look like this and that doesn’t fit my lifestyle or Michael’s lifestyle, so what can we do to create the relationship that we want? That’s really where it started, it was just learning we don’t have to fit that mode that actually doesn’t fit us anyways, so let’s make it our own.
Angelo: That’s awesome. Eben’s wife is Annie Lalla. I actually work with Annie Lalla whereas you and I work in our relationship, right now we are starting to develop—our goals have developed into parents, so Annie is teaching us how to be parents. Basically we are learning how to break some of our old habits. So I know that Eben is amazing at doing that when you shared that in the story I was like, man, he’s got great stuff. That’s awesome. You are here developing all this, from doing your work, what have you seen is a big challenge for couples right now?
Ashley: I would say being able to communicate and doing it in such a vulnerable way, really opening up and sharing. The only examples that we’ve ever had in relationships are the ones of our parents or what we see in TV and magazines, so that’s our idea of what a relationship is supposed to look like. Really I find that learning to communicate what your desires are and being able to share them even if they seem ridiculous, but it’s the opportunity to be able to go deep and have this connection with each other to just share your dreams, your desires, your fears with each other.
Angelo: Where do you think that comes from? I’m just curious about this because at first I feel like that could come from the male side because of ego, and do you feel like it’s from both sides or does one gender usually hold that more, the lack of communication or openness?
Ashley: I think it can be a lot of times men, on the masculine side in our society there is a saying, ‘men don’t cry’. They are taught to be strong and tough, and to hold their feelings in, so I think that does play a role. For women or for the feminine a lot of times there is a fear of not feeling safe to share. We desire to feel safe in sharing our emotions and our feelings and a lot of times it’s not always showing up because of the ‘I need to be tough’, or ‘I need to hold my feelings in’. We have a tendency to share but only what’s comfortable in sharing or—at least this is for me, I’m comfortable enough to share what Michael may be accepting as okay, or sharing it in a way that I know he would be okay with.
Angelo: From both sides that makes a lot of sense. If there is a couple listening to this or one person that could relate to this and want to take it back to their partner, how could someone just open up the conversation about doing this? Because I’m willing to bet that there is people that really want to be able to do this but the how and implementing it is probably far more difficult than just that awareness piece.
Ashley: I think a lot of times in relationships we can go serious, we take things in a lot of seriousness, so I really enjoy incorporating a lot of game and play in relationship in order to just connect because it lets off a little bit of that seriousness and important-ness of that conversation that we may want to share. A gam, an exercise that people can play is Love All Parts of Me.
If someone has something they want to share they can go to their partner and say, “hey, I want to play a game, it’s called Love All Parts of Me. I want to share something with you and in it I’m asking you to love me and tell me that you love me”. Either they can sit next to each other. I recommend sitting across from each other just with their knees touching and they can hold hands. One person would share something from their past that they may feel embarrassed about, guilty, shameful, and I even recommend going to childhood or high school, or maybe even college, it doesn’t have to be anything right now.
But what it does is, it allows you to share something; ‘in high school I cheated on a test’, and the other partner can reply, “Michael, I love you, and I love you for telling me that you cheated on a test”. It just opens up a little bit of a door, an opportunity to start saying like, oh, that wasn’t so bad. It’s a little easy, it’s not in the moment of right now, and it helps build the practice into sharing more vulnerable things as in the right now. That’s a little game that can start easing in, a little practice, and then after one person shares the other person can share something as well. It’s funny we have this embarrassing or guilt about from our pasts and be able to share that and then have your partner tell you that, ‘I love that part of you, I love that you shared that with me, because you did that I’m not judging you for that, I still love you’.
Angelo: I like that. Love All Parts of Me- what a great game.
Ashley: Yeah, yeah. Michael and I did it for a while and we would start sharing little bits and pieces. It also shows how easy it can be to share. We practiced that for a while.
Angelo: I really think that’s a fun and unique game for couples to try. I know I’m going to definitely give it a short.
Ashley: Good, good.
Angelo: For you with being married to an entrepreneur, how would you say that has affected your relationship? What are some of the things that you’ve been through as being married to an entrepreneur?
Ashley: I like this one. I would say one of the biggest things at the beginning of Michael starting entrepreneurship world, especially with Barbell Shrugged because he was traveling and he was around all these women that were beautiful and taking pictures, one of the biggest things I struggled with was jealousy. I would sent a text and he wouldn’t respond right away, then I would see a post on Facebook at the time, Instagram of him having a pretty girl that’s fit and fabulous next to him and I would have this moment of jealousy come up, like, why I’m I not there? Why is he not texting me right now? I had jealousy not just with the other person but jealousy with his business; he was spending a lot of time in creating it.
With jealousy what I’ve learned is it has nothing to do with Michael, it’s something that’s going on inside of me that’s creating that feeling of jealousy. Now if that feeling ever pops up I just ask myself what’s this jealous feeling about? What’s really going on? It could be that I’m feeling left out, why I’m I feeling left out? I haven’t had a conversation with Michael yet, I wanted to connect with him or there is just this fear that I’m going to be left, and so it gives me an opportunity to share that with him as well. I would say jealousy was one of the biggest things for a long time.
Now my jealousy is hardly ever there, and if it does popup then I can immediately figure out what’s going on within me and what I need to tend to, or I’m wanting attention, how can I give attention to myself? I’m wanting time, how can I give time to myself? I can go and spend time drawing or I can go take a bubble bath and nurture and tend to myself first.
Angelo: This is really important. I love that you shared what you shared, but this part about you at the end Ash, saying you go and give it to yourself, I think where a lot of people think of jealousy the first thing they think of is either revenge or an argument or something like that.
What happens in your brain when you realize that there is jealousy and then you really start figuring out what it is and what it looks like? I’m pretty fascinated with that because I think for a lot of people jealousy is such a strong fueled emotion that people receive and I would love to hear your insight on that.
Ashley: Sometimes it takes me a little bit to realize that I’m having those jealous feelings, but a lot of times it’s like, what’s going on with my body? I’m I sweating? I’m I breathing fast? I’m I getting in this tense—I just recognize what’s going on with my body and then I also listen to the thoughts that are going into my head, because normally they are not so nice, and I’m like, I’m having some negative thoughts, what is going on? This is that feeling of jealousy, okay. Then it’s why, why I’m I feeling jealous? Okay, it’s because of ABC, then I allow myself to dig deeper, and really it’s just allowing me to spend time with myself and listening to what’s going on within me.
In a partnership it’s an addition to your life, it’s not your life, so I look at Michael as being an addition to my life and having more joy and more fun, and more play. So when jealousy comes up, it’s just like, okay, there is this feeling going on and what I’m wanting from him is time, but really attention, but what is really going on is I’m seeking attention from myself. If I ever have anything I think I’m wanting Michael to give to me I ask myself, ‘how can I give it to myself first?’ What’s helped me with that too is because when I can give it to myself first I can see how Michael gives it to me all the time.
It’s like this window, because I’m like, he is not doing this for me, but really I’m not doing it for myself. So when I start doing it for myself then it allows me to have a whole different view of what Michael is really doing and showing up and I can see how much attention he is giving to me especially when he is traveling. He is giving me the attention as much as he can during that time, he is working, so when he as a free moment he is going to text me, he is going to call me. That’s how I work through that.
Angelo: That’s awesome. Is Michael aware of this now, of how you handle this?
Ashley: Yes, he is. Yeah.
Angelo: Without getting too much information, or whatever you feel comfortable with, you had moments of that coming up for you, what were some of the challenges that Mike had? I’d be interested from a male side, while he is building this business, if you could recall or share.
Ashley: I think at the beginning it was he is working, he is networking, he is busy, and then he has his wife over here sending him texts, ‘hey, hello’, doing a little poke on him, and allowed him not to be fully present. I was being a distraction for him, because he is not wanting to completely ignore me, and at the same time he is wanting to be fully present with what he is doing, so he would sent a text, “hey, I will call you when I can’. It took me a while to be okay with that. What happened was, one time I did go with him on a business thing and I got to see him in action and it gave me a lot more understanding of what he was doing while he was traveling and networking and doing his thing, and even podcasting.
I was like, oh I see, there is very little opportunity throughout the day or during his time away that he can send a message with me, and when he does he does it fully. It just showed me that I was being selfish as well in wanting the attention and time from him. He is taking the step into working and to build a business for us to have a lifestyle and to have this dream that we want, and I’m over here being selfish really. It took me going with him to see that just to see how he does work, and be like, oh, it’s not that he doesn’t want to talk to me, or that he is wanting to talk to this girl more, or he is wanting to talk to this guy more, it’s that he is just working and he is connecting with these people and when he has time he does connect with me.
Angelo: Awesome. I’m sure for you guys too when you are able to recognize this and then go past this challenge of being jealous it completely changes your relationship.
Ashley: Oh yeah, it really does. It becomes now more joy, more celebration in our relationship, there is more freedom as well, and being able to connect with people. He is not having to worry about, ‘is Ashley going to be upset if I’m hanging out with this person? It allows him to really be more present and more connected and not having this voice in the back of his head saying ‘what’s Ashley going to think? What’s Ashley going to think? What is she going to say?’ It just gives him the freedom to really be and express himself too.
Angelo: That’s awesome. Ash now with all of this knowledge in relationships and also wanting to be somebody that’s of service and giving, what are you planning to do with all of it?
Ashley: Oh man. I am building an online course and really working with couples to redefine their relationships. The course is going to be called The Communication Code to Redefine Your Relationship. What I desire for couples is for them to craft and to build the relationship they want. There’s these two different people coming from two different life experiences coming to form one life together, and we have all our past experiences, and our thoughts and our beliefs coming into it, so there is going to be a little bit of a rocking, a bomb.
What I love to do is just being able to help couples just understand each other, where they are coming from, where they are at and to be able to communicate that and to connect so that they can build the relationship that they want and that they desire that works for them, not what other people think should work, but what they think works for their relationship. One of the things that I do believe that really, really helps with that is creating a shared vision with each other so that having a shared vision is this thing in your relationship that you are moving towards, it gives you focus, it gives you direction. If you are in an argument or if there is a disagreement, if there is a decision to be made you can look at the shared vision that you created together and be like, what’s the decision that we can make together that moves us towards the shared vision, then compromise is no longer there.
Angelo: I love that idea of creating that shared vision. I think a lot of people may do it individually or not at all, but doing it together is definitely something that’s really cool. Tell me a little bit about the process that you go through for helping people create that vision?
Ashley: A lot of times it’s: why are you in a relationship? Why do you want to be in a relationship? Why do you want to be in the relationship with your partner? What can you create together that you could not create on your own? What are the things that you love about your partner? What are the things that you love about yourself? What feels unique about your partnership? Discovering those questions, and I think actually a lot of times it’s good to do those individually and spending time on those questions as individual on your own and then coming together and sharing your answers, then you’ll find some common threads in there.
I think also discovering what your core value, that’s another thing; what are my core values as an individual, as Ashley, and what are Michael’s core values? Then we come together. There’s some common ones; here are our core values as a relationship, now we have why we want to be in a relationship, why we are choosing to be in a relationship with each other, we have how we feel, we also have how do we want to show up as a couple for others, how we want to look at money, how we want to look at our lifestyle, how do we want to look at health, how do we want to look at sex as a couple, and then that really helps form your shared vision.
Angelo: I love that. These are such amazing questions and at the same time they feel like—no shit, we should be doing this when we are committing ourselves to be with somebody our entire life, why don’t we actually sit down and get these things?
Why do you think that this isn’t happening for a lot of couples or hasn’t happened in the past for many people?
Ashley: I think most people don’t realize that you can work and spend time building your relationship, like actually spending time, just like you start a business and you go in and you invest on a business mentor, you take courses, you take workshops, when you decide to invest in your health and you go to the gym, you spend money on a gym, you take courses, you figure out what kind of food works for you spend time on that. I think a lot of times people don’t think that relationships are something that you can work on, I think they just think, oh we are married, now it’s going to be happily ever after, because that’s what the movies say, that’s what the magazines say.
It’s not always known that you can spend time developing and really growing and connecting your relationship. I think it’s just like, okay it’s here, now I’m happy, we are going to spend our lives together, and then before you know it there is this disconnect with each other.
Angelo: That makes incredible sense. We’ve grown up or programmed into a society where people get married and they almost are okay with being unhappy, or not really reaching for that, or they just get stagnant, you know what I mean? This idea of working on your relationship and always evolving and recognizing these things, and I’m sure too you could testify to this, overtime your core values may evolve too and things that you really care about may evolve. This idea of putting care into your relationship, do you feel like a lot of people just haven’t been doing it? This is so interesting, and I just want to know more of this evolution.
Ashley: Yeah, I do. I think people don’t realize that they can grow and develop their relationship. I think it’s like, oh I’m married and I’m in a relationship now I’m going to be happy, then we get stuck in our daily lives, the routines, and a routine can create some boredom in a relationship. There is work, I show up in this, I go to here, and then I go to here, then there is time for this, oh, then there is dinner; it starts getting stagnant in that way, just creating a routine. So by learning to spend time and growing and developing and discovering; why do I show up in this way? Why do I learn this from? It allows you to craft and develop building that relationship and growing it.
I think in our society we get married and then we are supposed to buy a house and have kids, and then go to work and be done, and it’s just going to be all fine and dandy, when we are two people with feelings and emotions, and we get triggered by each other, and we have no way of navigating how to handle those arguments except for yelling or completely walking away into another room. We may have learned that from TV, we may have learned that from mom and dad but those are a lot of the examples that we’ve learned from. I think there is a disconnect with being able to build and grow your relationship and really focusing on it.
Angelo: It’s so incredible to think there’s people that are in relationships that don’t know or don’t feel like they can be amazing, they are just in them.
Ashley: A part that breaks my heart on relationships is a lot of people just settle for ‘I guess I’m going to have to deal with this for the rest of my life’, ‘I guess this is what it’s going to be like’. It breaks my heart when I think about that because that’s where I was; I was like, ‘I guess this is what it’s going to be like for the rest of my life, I’m just going to be kind of happy with my relationship’. It doesn’t have to be that way, if you can put some attention to it and some time with it you can really develop the relationship that you want and nurture it. It’s just like going to the gym; if you want to get a heavy deadlift what do you need to do? You need to deadlifting, you take time and you spend time on the movements that help you become stronger at deadlifting.
It’s the same way in relationships; it takes time and spending the attention and focus on building the relationships that can be stronger.
Angelo: Let me ask you this because I think a lot of couples deal with this, and something for me too growing up I was taught not to be very forgiving, so what’s your advice, or what’s your take on couples just—I don’t want to say keeping tabs, but just working through and forgiving for something that maybe very detrimental to the relationship, I don’t mean something very small, how would you suggest couples work on that aspect?
Ashley: I think being able to really communicate and talk about why you are having a hard time letting go of that thing. For me I think in around year three of being married, it was right before Michael came home from the Eben Pagan event, I felt so alone and disconnected and sad and unhappy that the only way that I could have that feeling again was by cheating on him. So I had cheated on him and when I shared that with him later—I actually held on to that for three years, and it was definitely something that was going on between our relationship. It was like our relationship was growing but there was this thing in between us.
Finally when I shared it with him I was able to share like I was just alone, and I didn’t know what else to do. I was just desiring connection and to be where I felt appreciated and loved. At that time the only way I knew how to do that was seek elsewhere, I didn’t know that I could actually give it to myself. I think a lot of times when there is these things that we have a hard time forgiving there is something deeper that we are not forgiving about ourselves, and so we project it out onto our partner. Your partner can do things, but really it’s still a choice, forgiveness is 100% yours. So you can either choose to forgive or not to not forgive. If not then it’s just going to create this imbalance in the relationship, and if it’s not then say, ‘look, why are you not willing to let go of that?’ If you are not then there is the decision of is it worth being in the relationship anymore.
Angelo: That’s such a good point. Let me ask you this, when you shared that with Michael, was his reaction harsh? I think sometimes, at least for me, when Rocio and I get in an argument once I get past the surge of rage and anger to me everything is okay, but just making sure I could get past that in a healthy way allows everything to be okay much faster than when we were first together, I didn’t know how to manage that as well as I do now. I’d be interested for your take on that and your situation.
Ashley: One, when I told Michael about me cheating on him, it was three years ago, and we have been working in developing our skills in our relationship, there is this thing in between, one night he was like, “hey, I feel like there is something between us”. When he said that I just broke because I knew exactly what it was, it was me- it was my thing that was between us. So when I shared that with him I was in complete tears. When I shared that with him he just saw how heartbroken I was and how much I’d been holding on to that and what damage it was doing to me and keeping me from a lot of greatness that I had too, and really connecting with him.
When he looked at it in that way he was able to like, “hey, I understand. I get where we were three years ago, and I understand that that happened. I love you and I forgive you. I don’t even need to forgive you because I forgave you already, but I know that that’s what you need to hear. So I’m letting you know I forgive you”. I could feel that he really did. It allowed me to let go and it made it a lot easier for me to forgive myself too.
Angelo: That’s awesome. Good for you Mike when you are listening to this, good for you.
Angelo: I applaud you.
Ashley: The other thing too—there was two I wanted to share.
Another thing is, now when there is anything that feels like there is something between us we share, “hey, it feels like there is something between us”, is one way that we share that and it could be really quick. But is there is something that is really bothering me and I’m wanting to share it with Michael I call it Withheld Communication and it’s an exercise, it’s a step that you can do to share this thing that you are feeling frustrated about with your partner. That’s really helped us develop our communication and when letting something go, sharing that something is frustrating you or her, or you are mad, and then being able to really let it go when you share that. It really does help with future arguments. There’s been times when there is something I shared using the Withheld Communication and that argument has never happened again.
Angelo: That’s awesome.
Ashley: Yeah, it’s super helpful. It’s a matter of just learning how to communicate so that you can get each other’s experiences and hear what’s really showing up for each other and a way of understanding each other’s feelings and emotions.
Angelo: Absolutely. You said you course comes out in January, how long is it? Give me a little details on that, what’s it like for the experience?
Ashley: It’s going to be a beta course in January. I’m developing it, I have an outline, and during that course there may be some modifications in it, because I really want to be able to craft it to where it serves the couples to its fullest. It will be a beta course, but it’s going to be 8 weeks, and we’ll have some weekly calls. There will be a weekly group call, it will be some videos and contents, a lot of these exercises as far as developing communication skills will be in there, really crafting a shared vision for each other, with each other, finding what your core values are and really creating the lifestyle that you want to live into as a couple.
Angelo: I love it. Where could people find out more about this course?
Ashley: It will be mostly on my Instagram. On Instagram and then my website as well will be on it too ashleybledsoe.com is my website, and the Instagram is mrs.bledsoepia
Angelo: This is so awesome Ashley. This is such an amazing, amazing project you are doing and you could tell you are super passionate about it and you are doing this because you love it and that’s why you want to share it.
Ashley: Thank you, thank you. I do, I really want everyone to have the dream relationship they always wanted and to really be able to be happy in their partnership, and to just discover themselves even more because of that. I think having a partner is an addition to life, so why not experience it to its fullest, and to be able to be there and help grow and learn, and heal each other?
Angelo: I love that last part too, especially to heal each other. I think that it’s something that if a lot of couples looked at it that way a lot of things would shift in their relationship.
Ashley: It would, it really would. I do believe that we are drawn to each other for a reason and one of the reasons is to heal. There is things in our life and our partner can show up and we are each other’s mirrors and reflections and we can really help heal each other and just show each other how amazing and loveable we are as individuals too.
Angelo: Absolutely. How many people are you going to be taking in this beta group?
Ashley: I’m going to take 8.
Angelo: 8 couples.
Ashley: Just 8 total. It can be couples that do it together, or it can be one of the couple coming in with the commitment from the other partner that they will be fully committed to doing the work and exercise with them, they just may not show up for the group calls or anything like that.
Angelo: Very, very cool.
Ashley: They are committed to that, 8 people.
Angelo: It’s incredible Ashley. I’m so excited. This is going to be an amazing course, so please if you are looking to upgrade your relationship check out Ashley’s course. It’s going to be awesome Ash.
Ashley: Thank you.
Angelo: I’m going to talk to Rocio about this as soon as we get offline. Very cool. I give all of my guests a chance to define alpha hippie. You and Mike were probably the first receivers of the clothes and everything when I first started doing it, so you’ve seen this for a little while, so I’ll give you a chance. What does alpha hippie mean to you?
Ashley: What does alpha hippie mean to me? I believe alpha hippie means to embrace all of yourself and to share it with the world.
Angelo: I love it Ash, very good. Great answer there, Ashley. Alright, we’ve got one last question. Before we sign off I ask all my guests this too as well; if you had one word to be remembered by what would it be?
Ashley: Nurturing. Nurturing is my word that I would love to be remembered by.
Angelo: That’s amazing. Like I said earlier about your presence and taking care of everyone and everyone and all that, I would definitely say that that suits you very well.
Ashley: Thank you, thank you. I love helping people feel a part of and loved and taken care of.
Angelo: Wonderful. Thank you so much for being on the show Ashley, I really appreciate you.
Ashley: Thank you Angelo for asking me on. I enjoyed it a lot.
0:46:10 End of show