On today’s show, I have my muse, my soul mate, my love warrior Rocio Sisco. I’ve been waiting to get her on the show for quite a while now and I’m super excited that we actually found some time to knock it out. We talk about her, her journey, what she’s focused on right now in her career and what she is really passionate about, her amazing new program Warrioress, and we also talk about our journey and our relationship, and we play it back and forth with each other about how things felt and how we interpreted things and what our love journey has been like thus far.
I know this episode is a little bit different than our usual episodes, and if you guys are enjoying this I would love to hear some more feedback about this. If you want more episodes like this, things about couples and relationships, and everything—Rocio and I are far from perfect but we are happy to be as open and vulnerable and share what we are going through if that really serves you guys.
Enjoy the show and as always, thank you for listening.
Rocio Sisco is a fitness and nutrition advocate who has spent the last 10 years helping people with their physical health through the inspiration of her own transformation, Crossfit coaching, and personal training. In the last 3 years, she has been awakened to the importance of health, not only in the physical, but emotional, spiritual, and mental as well. She has transitioned her role from a “personal trainer” to an “interpersonal trainer” though her Warrioress Evolution coaching program where she leads badass, unstoppable women in fulfilling a life of purpose and freedom.
- Rocio Sisco on Facebook
- @ro_sisco on Instagram
Angelo: Rocio, Rocio, Rocio, my wife is on my podcast. How are you today Rocio?
Rocio: I’m very, very excited. Thank you.
Angelo: What was your first feeling when I asked you to be on this podcast?
Rocio: I was nervous, I didn’t know what you would be asking and what would be off topic, what we wouldn’t be able to really discuss or talk about.
Angelo: Alright, let’s talk about it together. What are some things that we cannot talk about?
Rocio: Nothing, I want this to be as real as possible. I’m down, and you know I’m down if you are down.
Angelo: Okay, perfect. Most of the listeners I believe should have an idea of your involvement in my life and who you are right now, my wife, but why don’t you tell everyone just a little bit about your current life and a little bit of who you are.
Rocio: Perfect. Yes, I’m your wife.
Angelo: Very good.
Rocio: I am Rocio. I am currently the Relations Manager at O’Hare CrossFit which is the gym that you own. I have been there for a total of five years now. I left my banking job to work with you fulltime because I loved you and believed your vision, and I wanted to pay forward my passion and what I had learned from you, I wanted to really give that to other people and help them transform in many ways. I came on fulltime and I started helping you with the back office and the back end type of stuff for the gym. That role has evolved to what I’m doing now, with sales and clients and the relationships there evolving, and taking care of the clients in what they need and onboarding new clients as well. I’m doing that and I am working on my own program for women Warrioress Evolution where I lead women to being bad ass and unstoppable in life. That’s a little about me.
Angelo: That’s awesome. What would you say is your favorite thing about working at the gym?
Rocio: Hands down the connections and talking to people, getting to know them and understand why they are there.
Angelo: What would you say is your most frustrating thing?
Rocio: My most frustrating thing, I think the most frustrating thing for me is when people don’t see their greatness. Like when people don’t see how amazing they are like I see them, that’s the most frustrating thing.
Angelo: Does that happen often for you?
Rocio: Yeah, but I understand the process because I was once there too, so I’m also empathetic about it.
Angelo: In your next project Warrioress Evolution how did that come to be?
Rocio: Warrioress Evolution is very interesting. I found growing up that I just really didn’t fit in with the crowd, and what I mean by was just I was with my female friends and often times it was a lot of complaining and feeling and I was masculine around them and I would just pretty much tell them to be quiet, shut up and suck it up, get it done.
When I would be around my guy friends I was a little too feminine and guys have a tough time feeling, so I wasn’t really fitting into any of those groups, and I was like why I’m I like this, why do I feel on the one end of the spectrum but I really just don’t want to feel on the other end of the spectrum? I was right in the middle of my energies, masculine and feminine and I wanted to show women that they can really be what they want to be and they can still get it done, things done in their lives and be successful and be in their masculine, but they can also feel and understand themselves and their feelings and live a life of purpose and passion. That’s how Warrioress came about.
Angelo: That’s awesome. When you said a life that is successful, how would you define success for you?
Rocio: For a long time I thought successful meant having a balance in life, and you and I have had tons of talks about this, balance and if that’s even possible. Now I feel more of the harmony and wanting to have a harmonious life; be successful in the professional aspect but also be a good wife, and ultimately for us, I’d love to be, I know I’m going to be an amazing mom. Just being harmonious in that aspect and still take care of myself too.
Angelo: Where do you feel like most women are feeling they are coming up short; their professional life, their family, or taking care of themselves?
Rocio: Nowadays it’s taking care of themselves.
Angelo: But do they know that’s the one?
Angelo: What’s the usual one they come to you with?
Angelo: In what way?
Rocio: Feeling guilty for maybe not being home. Nowadays it’s so much more common for women to be in the workforce fulltime, they have to be, so just feeling guilty for not being home too often, or not doing things with their kids, or honest, letting go of their partnerships.
Angelo: What do you mean?
Rocio: Like not tending to their husbands, not tending to their partner. That usually goes to the way side before anything else does. That’s just what I’m encountering with a lot of my clients. They don’t even realize that it’s happening though.
Angelo: Why not?
Rocio: They don’t realize that their interactions are not healthy interactions with their husbands or partners. I don’t know how to say why not. I don’t know how to explain why not.
Angelo: What’s a way then somebody would know, you said they don’t know that something is going on with them and their partners, what is something that could be happening that could be a sign of that?
Rocio: They haven’t gone out on a date in months, they are no longer having sex, they don’t even talk, there is no conversations. Those are the ones that I encounter the most.
Angelo: What does your program look like?
Rocio: It’s a 3-month program, and every week we are essentially dialing into a part of their lives; at first we goal set and talk about what a successful like looks like, and every week after that we are discussing limiting beliefs and what is currently stopping them from reaching that successful life. What the program is essentially is introducing tools and resources that have helped me get to where I’m at today. A couple of years ago I had my spiritual awakening where I didn’t realize there was a lot of underlying things that were stopping me from being successful. One of those aspects was finding love and really opening myself up to receiving the love that I deserved.
It’s a 3-month program where I do that. Every week I meet with my clients one-on-one or via Zoom call if they are not in the state or country for that matter, and we talk and I coach them, and I keep them accountable and I support them on whatever they may need. That is what we are doing for three months.
Angelo: What are you most excited about the program?
Rocio: The most rewarding aspect of my whole program is seeing them moment that they realize that they are in complete control of their life and what they do is a reflection of that, is the most rewarding part of it all. I get to do that very often where we have those ‘aha’ moments, a light bulb goes off in their head, that’s the most rewarding part for me, that’s what I get excited about; like ‘hey, wake up, you are the one that’s in control of this, you have the power’. That’s pretty freaking cool.
Angelo: Yeah, it is. Also for you now too on the flipside what are you the most scared of about this program?
Rocio: What I’ve been most proud of is my vulnerability throughout my life, so that was part of my feminine, just being vulnerable, so I’ll be completely vulnerable. This is something I’ve always wanted. I’ve always believed that I was going to be the owner of my own company, the boss, I’ve believed that I’m always a leader, but I am putting myself out there, and that is a little scary. I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t. So just putting myself out there and following my heart and leading by example and just being in integrity with my shit.
Angelo: What fear comes up for you though? I know that there is fear of putting yourself out there, but what is your exact fear? Like when I put up a post I have fear around people that come to the gym not supporting us, or not supporting my view, not supporting the video. That’s a real fear when I put out stuff and I look at it, and if somebody from the gym comments and it’s not maybe positive or anything like that, I have a major moment of insecurity every time that happens. I deal with it and I understand that we all can’t agree on everything, but I do have moments of that. That’s how I really define the fear. For you, do you have anything in that depth?
Rocio: The fear lies more within myself; I’m I going to do the things necessary to succeed? I’m I going to be able to habitually do the one thing consistently every single day and keep steam? It’s not a strength of mine. I’ve realized that I’m disciplined in some areas of my life but I lack discipline in others. That’s been one of my biggest focuses this year; it’s just to be more consistent and constant with being disciplined in every area of my life. That’s what I’m afraid of; I’m afraid of not being disciplined in the business end, which to be honest I find more and more now that a lot of women have that struggle and challenge, that are trying to succeed in the business world.
Angelo: Why do you think that is?
Rocio: I don’t think that’s a strength of ours. That’s the feminine energy.
Angelo: How do you go about taking on more masculine energy to do this for your business but at the same time not lose who you are?
Rocio: I feel as women we try to take on too much. I just wrote a blog about this yesterday; we take on too much and we have these big goals but we are not honest about where we are currently, and the current state of our life we are not honest about that. For instance, I will want to take on this big role of being the CEO of a company but I’m working on all these other little things, so I am trying to do too much and trying to do everything else other than the small things that will get me to being the CEO of this company. I have a husband, I have kids, I am trying to work out, I am trying to work on my nutrition, I’m doing this, this, this, and then why is it a big goal, why is it still a goal if I’m not doing the things that align with that goal to get it done?
It’s almost like we are setting ourselves up for failure by trying multitasking, thinking that we can give 100% to everything. We don’t readjust the goals that way.
Angelo: Are you talking about other women or are you talking about you?
Rocio: No, I’m talking about in general, like an example. I’m saying an example where we are trying to give 100% to everything and that’s just not possible. What I realized is cutting the goals down and doing one thing towards the big goal that will still allow me to do everything else, to take care of my husband, to take care of my family, take care of myself and still moving the needle forward on that big goal. That’s what I’m trying to do; just be more disciplined in the smaller ways.
Angelo: Where do you want this program to go?
Rocio: Oh my god, I have so many plans.
Angelo: You just said you will focus on one thing at a time, and then the next thing you say you’ve got so many plans.
Rocio: I know. That’s where I have to slow myself down, because I do have a lot of plans for it.
Angelo: What’s the plan right now? What’s the closest rock out of all the rocks?
Rocio: Right now it’s creating content and taking care of my clients. That’s it.
Rocio: Signing clients and creating content for future projects.
Angelo: Very good. Now it’s time for us to talk about us a little bit. January 14th it will be two years that we’ve been together. We’ve had a lot of experiences together. Why don’t you start off with our early stages?
Rocio: Early stages; let’s start off with how we met. Is that where you want to go?
Rocio: Okay. I love saying the backend and the backstory because the people that know us, that truly know us are the only ones that know the backstory and know that we tried to date a couple of years ago.
Angelo: A couple of years ago?
Angelo: It’s like almost 7 years ago.
Angelo: Obama was still the president, in fact in the Whitehouse, are you kidding me?
Rocio: Yeah, we tried to date almost 7 years ago and it didn’t work. Why don’t you tell the people why it didn’t work?
Angelo: I will, I have no problem saying this story. I took out Rocio for a date and at first I was like, ‘yeah Ro we go out’, and then after a couple of dates the tides turned and Rocio was just laying it out on me much harder than I was ready for, and I told her, I said, “hey Ro, I am not ready for this level of relationship”, and we just stayed friends.
Rocio: Yeah, that’s exactly how that worked. Which is funny because that was me being in my masculine, you were coming on strong and I was like, okay, this guy likes me, I’m aggressive too. So I started asking you out on dates and you did not like that.
Angelo: No, I don’t even think I do now.
Rocio: You don’t.
Angelo: It’s not my speed.
Rocio: I started asking you out on dates and suggesting things that we do and you did not like that at all. You were no longer interested and I was left there like, ‘what is this guy’s deal? Why did he ask me out on dates if he wasn’t interested?’ You were honest with me which I appreciated. I have had tons of experiences where people weren’t honest with me, so I can definitely appreciate that. In all honesty that was one of the things that I respected the most about you, that you were honest, and real, very real. So we became friends, and I continued to—I was a member of the gym at the time, and I continued to go to the gym and we developed this friendship and you then asked me to be your employee. That’s how that worked.
Angelo: Alright. Then fast forward a few years, you are working for me, you were in a relationship for three years, four years?
Angelo: Three years and then you ended that. We were just hanging out as friends and then I asked you out to dinner. That was basically the kickoff to this.
Rocio: Yeah. What’s interesting is that at that time we were both having a little bit of a spiritual awakening. You had just had a spiritual awakening. Can we talk about that?
Angelo: You can talk about anything you want.
Rocio: Do people get weird?
This is The Alpha Hippie, we are going to do spiritual awakening.
Angelo: Calling it a spiritual awakening is slightly weird, but it’s okay, go ahead.
Rocio: Okay, it’s an awakening, whatever; we were awakened to what was there. We are having out awakenings at the same time. I’m going to say this because I think that this is freaking cool and anybody that I mention this to thinks it’s like the best thing ever, that we were at a meeting in Starbucks and you were like, “Ro, I’ve got to say something to you, I think we are soulmates. I feel like we are soulmates”. You dropped the bomb on me and I was like, “what?” I realized yeah, I freaking do think we are soulmates, I feel it. What does that mean? That’s when we decided to go our separate ways and take care of myself, you take care of yourself and eventually came back to us hanging out and you asking me out on a date.
Angelo: Yeah, and we went out and then we were together a lot after that.
Rocio: You took me to the opera.
Angelo: We went to the opera for Valentine’s Day. That was a real big deal. Was it Valentine’s Day or it was for the Valentine’s Day?
Rocio: It was for Valentine’s Day.
Angelo: Yeah, that was really nice to get dressed up and go to the opera. Then we made a baby.
Rocio: Yeah, we did.
Angelo: What day did we make the baby? I forgot about it.
Rocio: April 30.
Angelo: April 30? Okay. April 30th we made a baby, and I knew it that day.
Rocio: You did, it was so weird.
Angelo: I knew it that day that we made a baby. Why don’t you talk about that experience because this was a whole new thing for you, it was a new thing for both of us, but you are a woman, it’s way different.
Rocio: Yeah. I was scared. That was my initial instinct. I remember being terrified, not scared, I was terrified. It was completely unplanned; we weren’t planning to do this. I was on birth control. Literally our baby was a miracle baby. I was on birth control and we weren’t planning it, and it was like the 1% chance that this could happen, and it did. I believe at that time you and I were not seeing eye to eye, maybe we were fighting a lot. When this happened I remember sitting there and thinking, going back and forth. I’ll be honest, I wasn’t sure if this is what I wanted as far as having a baby now. All these things from my past just came up.
I was 31, my whole life I’ve never had that happen to me, ever, and my whole life—it’s going to sound funny, but I almost thought this was my mission to not become a statistic. I wanted to do things very customary. Like you date someone, you get engaged, you get married then you have your family. That was just the thing for me. I had that vision. When that happened I was like, ‘the universe, god, what are you trying to tell me?’ Our baby was a miracle baby and we talked about it, and we felt good about being with each other and becoming parents. I accepted it and then I became excited about it. When I saw your reaction to it that made me feel—I guess as women we want security.
Angelo: I was excited.
Rocio: I know you were excited.
Angelo: I was excited, I was like, ‘here we go, let’s do this’. I was excited for a couple of reasons: one because we made a baby, and two because my sperm is sharper than 99.9% of other people’s sperm. I’d be lying if that wasn’t a big deal for me. It really was self-esteem; I don’t care how many other people that happens to I’m still excited that it’s me.
Rocio: Can’t believe you said that.
Angelo: It’s the truth. I’d be lying if it wasn’t part of the highlight of the whole experience
Angelo: That was April 30th, then July…
Rocio: It was in June.
Angelo: Was it June?
Rocio: No, it was July.
Angelo: It was July.
Angelo: Like early July.
Angelo: We lost the baby.
Rocio: We did.
Angelo: It’s so funny, when that was all happening I didn’t even feel like I was there feeling it yet. That’s how I felt like in the middle of the night and I was like, okay, here we go, and it didn’t feel like it was my baby till way after we got home.
Rocio: Yeah. To be honest with you, I feel very comfortable talking about this because I know that there was a purpose for it. I truly believe our baby was our angel, our relationship angel. Our baby came here to let us know, ‘mom and dad, get your shit together, you guys are meant to be together, and you are meant to figure this out, and I’m meant to be with you but just not right now’. You know what I mean? I just remember a lot of pain, just being in a lot of pain, and I was scared, I’ve never been so scared in my life. I felt like a failure that day. I did. I just kept blaming myself. I was like, what did I do? What did I do? How could I have done this? What did I do? I remember that just playing in my head because I was having a tough time.
I gained so much respect for moms in that experience because my body changed. I was not feeling up to working out, my boobs were getting bigger which you enjoyed, and I wasn’t feeling motivated to work out. I was having a tough time with that, which was mentally a little challenging for me because of the fact that I was a fat girl. I was bigger and I had a transformation, and mentally I never want to go back there. Being active is a part of my lifestyle now. Not wanting to work out was really hard for me. Not having the motivation to work out was really hard for me. I wasn’t telling people, our families were the only ones that knew. We hadn’t told anybody. I think at the time Becker was the only one that knew, right?
Rocio: We told Suzie.
Angelo: The team, everybody at the team knew.
Rocio: Yeah, the team did know.
Angelo: My people, my friend Dom, your people.
Rocio: Our close people knew, but nobody else knew. I was so tired. I’ve never felt anything like that before in my life. I was so tired, I would go out to my car while at the gym and coaching and I would sleep for 10-15 minutes, get a little nap in, and then go back in and do what I was doing. I was on—you call it the thug-life diet where I was just eating everything.
Angelo: Yeah, it’s thug life.
Rocio: Cereal, ice cream, everything I wanted- carbs. I gained so much respect for women in the process just being with a baby. Then our baby wasn’t ready to be here or maybe we weren’t ready truly. I don’t know, what do you think about that? How do you feel about that?
Angelo: If you were like, ‘hey July 2017 or December 2018, when do you think you would have been a better father?’ I’d say today.
Angelo: But I think I’d probably say that forever. It’s a crazy experience for me. You feel so many things. What really is the most fucked up to me about the whole thing is that you don’t find out how many people this happens to until it happens to you. I think that’s like the weirdest thing; why aren’t people putting out their experience about this stuff? Maybe we should have done this fucking sooner now that I think about it. That was the one thing that was so weird for me, like why not put stuff out there that makes people not feel like they are fucked up? Because that’s the first thing you feel, because it’s like, a handful of people know and then it’s just like, oh shit, the baby is not here anymore, we’ll go back to life now, back to regular scheduled program.
Angelo: It’s just weird.
Rocio: That is true.
Angelo: For me that was the biggest thing after that, I was like what the fuck? You have all the things you have to hear about why wouldn’t you want to hear about this if you could just help? That was the weirdest for me. Then we got engaged after the baby, settled down. We got engaged three weeks later in Italy.
Rocio: I still think about that time that we were in Italy; it was like the best time ever. It was the best time ever.
Rocio: I remember looking outside, we were on a yacht, and I remember looking at the backend of the yacht and we were leaving the shore…
Angelo: I don’t want to say it was a yacht- it was a 63-foot boat. If you consider that a yacht, it’s a yacht, but I don’t want you guys to think we were out fucking popping [inaudible 00:31:03] in the middle of the Mediterranean. I know I rented a large boat, I wouldn’t call it a yacht, I would just call it a very nice boat that you could sleep in. Finish it, keep going.
Rocio: Okay, I remember looking out the back of the boat, we were leaving the shore and it was one of those moments where you are like, ‘oh my god, life is but a dream, this is beautiful’. Man, we get to do what we do at home, where we help people and we transform their lives and we help them be the best versions of themselves, and we enjoy that and we love it and this is what that brings us. I will never forget that, I will never ever forget that. I just felt so grateful. Everything just took over me, the gratitude just took over me and I was just so grateful to be there in Italy because of what we do with the love of my life, with amazing friends. We were there with Mary and Dom, the listeners they know Dom.
Angelo: Yeah, they know them.
Rocio: They know Dom, your bestie. I had a blast. By the way I didn’t know that you were going to propose. I don’t know how I didn’t know you were going to propose, everybody at the gym knew before me that you were going to propose and nobody spilt the beans.
Angelo: I don’t like to keep surprises. I would have told you, if we had to wait one more day I would have told you. I had to get it out of the way. We went to Italy; it’s probably one of my most favorite trips of my life. That was a really nice time because we were really excited about being engaged. Then it was your birthday. Please forgive me, this is a sensitive subject, but I don’t recall, did we have any fights, or big conflicts during that point?
Rocio: After our engagement?
Angelo: Yeah, say from July to December, November. I can’t really remember. I’m sure we’ve had something but it wasn’t anything really major. We were doing really, really well. Then that year 2017 was the 2nd year that I was asked to go with Jayson to South Africa to do seminars, then this year you got to come with me. What do you think of going to South Africa?
Rocio: First of all Italy was a surprise. Remember you had bought me the ticket.
Angelo: It really was.
Rocio: Italy was like ‘did you check your email?’, and I was like, ‘what do you mean, I didn’t see you check my email’, because I get all my nervous system, it zapped whenever you asked me if I checked an email, because we do work together, and I was like, ‘no, I haven’t checked my email, what’s going on?’, and you are like, ‘just check your email’, all serious. I opened up my email and it was like, what did you say, #motherland tour.
Angelo: We were going to my motherland.
Rocio: That was the subject line, and I opened it up and it was the tickets to Italy. I’m a hot mess from the surprise. I believe South Africa was my Christmas present.
Angelo: It was.
Rocio: South Africa was my Christmas present. At this point I’m on freaking cloud 20. I’m engaged in Italy, now you are taking me to South Africa, I’m like ‘whoa what is going on?’ The farthest I’ve ever gone is freaking Punta Cana.
Angelo: Oh wow.
Rocio: That was the farthest I had ever gone. I was excited. I was so excited about South Africa.
Angelo: What do you think of South Africa?
Obviously we are going to tell them the big event in South Africa, but what do you think about it from just going there?
Rocio: I thought it was so interesting. You have these images and you have an expectation for when you get there, but it’s nothing like that. It was beautiful. It was beautiful. The funny thing is that you see one side of rich people side, you see nice houses, all these stuff, and then you see the other side which is poverty stricken and not so rich people, and they are right across the street from each other. I thought that was very interesting. People are so nice there. I like South Africa. That was beautiful.
Angelo: It’s awesome. Then December 2nd that was a Saturday, we were at dinner and we were hanging out, it was all of us; Chris and [inaudible 00:35:55], Jay, everybody that was part of the host people from District 6, then I asked you to marry me the next day.
Rocio: Yeah. I love when you say the story because you don’t even proposition it.
Angelo: What do you mean proposition?
Rocio: We were so in love with South Africa, man this place is beautiful. Again, just gratitude, gratitude took over us, this place is so beautiful, can you believe we are here? You go “yeah, we should just get married out here”. I gave you the weirdest look, I said, “Shut the fuck up, we are not getting married out here”.
Angelo: Did we already have the Saint Lucia planned?
Rocio: Yeah, we were already planning Saint Lucia. Remember we wanted to do Turks and Caicos.
Angelo: Got it. I forgot where we were in our wedding plans.
Rocio: Yeah, we wanted to do Turks and Caicos and obviously they had a hurricane there so they were completely wiped out. We were looking for a second location and we had decided to do Saint Lucia because it was the next best island. You were like, “we should just get married out here”, and I was like, “we are not doing that, we are not getting married out here”. You were like, “why not? Give me one good reason why we shouldn’t get married out here” and I couldn’t. I couldn’t, I couldn’t give you a good reason why we shouldn’t get married. All I cared about was that you were there, that is it. I didn’t care where we were, I didn’t care who was there, I didn’t care who wasn’t there. I said, “Alright, let’s do it, why don’t we just play it by ear”.
Remember we were very nonchalant about it, we said let’s play it by ear if we find a location, if people can get together, it was like a party. We were just planning like a regular party. We’ll do it. I remember talking to Joseline, Jayson’s wife and I said, “I think Angelo and I are going to get married out here”. She is so funny, she is really the one that kind of like steam rolled this thing into fruition. She was like, “oh my god, that would be so amazing, how romantic”. She went and told Jay about it, and Jay thought it was the coolest thing. She is like “Jayson, you should marry them. Get ordained and you should marry them. That would be so cool”. Once we said that everything made sense and everything just fell into place. I was like, “that would be perfect, you are Angelo’s mentor that would be amazing”, and he is like, “hey guys, I’ve always wanted to marry someone”. That’s on his bucket list. It was way too perfect to even deny all or fight.
Angelo: Yeah, it was nice.
Rocio: It was.
Angelo: Then we got married the next in the Vineyard of Constantia.
Rocio: Then there was that when we started telling everybody at the party that day remember, and everyone is like, ‘oh my god, we will do this, and oh my god’, Jordan is like, “I could take the photography”. There was a photographer, videographer there for your guy’s seminar, and he was like, “oh my god, I would love to be a part of this, let me do your photography and let me do your video. I’ll capture the whole thing”. Kevin was like, “I’ve got the perfect place at the Vineyard, blah, blah, blah, I’ll get it reserved”. Then everything just fell into place, I mean everything. Then we got married the next day, before we got married, because everyone looks at out wedging pictures and they are like, ‘oh, you guys planned this’, but we really didn’t at all. We had 24 hours to plan.
The next day we worked out and then we had so much time to spare that we went to the mall. We had to find you a ring. I didn’t need a ring- I have the ring that I will cherish forever because I don’t need anything else. We had to find you a ring and I had to find a dress, and I had to find shoes and all the other accessories that go along with being a girl on her wedding day. I did; I bought $100 dress I guess.
Everyone is like, ‘oh my god, you planned it, you took that dress with you’. I didn’t. I found it at the mall; they do have malls in South Africa.
Angelo: They have nice malls in Cape Town.
Rocio: Yeah, beautiful. You found your ring and I found the dress at the same time because it couldn’t be more perfect. We spent like 6 hours looking for all this stuff.
Angelo: That was terrible.
Rocio: It was. It was very, very daunting.
Angelo: I think you wanted to give up. I think you said, “You know we are forcing this”, I’m like “we are fucking doing this”.
Rocio: I did. I totally was at first.
Angelo: I persisted to get this thing going.
Rocio: Obviously, shocker. Then we found the dress, we found the ring, we found everything we needed. I remember being chauffeured, Kim took me, she picked me up, she took me back to the house.
Angelo: Shout out to Kevin Ram, I hope you hear this podcast. Everyone did amazing things to make this happen, but Kevin Ram on many levels thank you so much.
Rocio: Yes Kevin, thank you so much, Kevin, Kim, absolutely.
Angelo: Our friends out in Durban.
Rocio: Absolutely. I remember having her take me to go get a bouquet. I made a bouquet with some roses from the local flower shop and we were off, and we did the thing.
Angelo: What also worked out good too is you and I both had our vows already written.
Angelo: So we did that, and we got married. It was in the vineyard, it was perfect. Jordan made an amazing video. I think it’s on YouTube. What’s the title on YouTube?
Rocio: Ro Lo Wedding.
Angelo: Ro Lo Wedding.
Angelo: Is it really hash tagged?
Rocio: I think so.
Angelo: Oh god, I feel so fucking silly. Anyways, that’s on there. That was great. That was so fun, I got married in a Vaquero shirt as a cowboy at our wedding, I couldn’t have worn any better. It was nice. One of the things that we talked about after we got married is that we really wanted to spend a lot of time in 2018 playing, like having fun and not worry about making babies right away again or anything like that. We’ve had an amazing year of travel. We went to California a few different times. We went to the motherland again.
Rocio: We went back to Italy, Sorrento.
Angelo: We went to Saint Lucia twice to see the resort and then to get married. We had a wedding ceremony a few months ago for our families in Saint Lucia. What else we’ve got? I’ve got a little more. Nashville.
Rocio: Nashville yeah, for regionals, which is awesome.
Angelo: It was really nice, then California a few times, northern and southern California.
Angelo: But it was really good. What is it like being married to me for the last year? Be serious.
Rocio: I’m just kidding. It’s amazing. I would never lie to your face, it’s amazing. It’s the best thing in the world. Every woman dreams of being in this kind of partnership, and it’s what I’ve always wanted and more, and more than I ever thought was possible. By no means are we perfect, I would never say that, but we are perfect for each other and we are perfect in the ways and who we are.
Angelo: What’s the hardest thing about being married to me?
Rocio: All these are deep questions. We are ultra-wear. You are ultra-wear and I’m ultra-wear, the hardest thing about being married to you is that you are my mirror, that you are ultra-wear and so good at holding me accountable. If I tell you I want to do something you are not going to let me freaking slide. You are going to hold me to that because I said it, and anybody that knows you, your integrity is one of your core-values, your highest one. That’s the hardest thing. You’ll call me on my shit, you are going to keep me accountable, you are going to hold up the mirror and say, this is the person that you said you wanted to be, why aren’t you the things to align with that person? As hard as it is that’s what I love the most about you.
Angelo: I’ll tell you the truth; this marriage is overwhelming as fuck. I love that you just gave that review, I think for me being taught, whatever you want to call it, never really knowing how to relate well to a woman or really feeling like my partner was equal and getting to this level of partnership, it’s very overwhelming for me. I’m not going to lie. There are so many levels to this, and just thinking about things. Also too, the super surprising part about this is, of all the things I never really figured I would do much is compromise, I didn’t think that was what I was going to do. I thought you just had to do whatever the fuck I wanted because that’s what being married to me I thought was. It was just like yeah, cool, I have somebody now that’s going to do everything I need to do and want to do, this is perfect.
That’s by far the hardest thing. Not hardest thing, but most overwhelming thing is I didn’t realize how easy it would be to be this way because to me being this way if you would have told me before is like being a pussy, it’s you are a fucking pussy, if I’m being honest. It’s just amazing how so many people are taught what being a pussy is, but then in reality you really are a pussy, you don’t think you are being a pussy by not compromising or not saying how you feel, and all that stuff. In reality now that I look at it a year into our marriage and two years of being with you, it’s like the highest level of being a fucking pussy you could possibly be.
Rocio: By not doing that?
Angelo: Yeah, by not doing that. In reality it’s just so easy not to be. It’s so easy to not compromise and just say this is the way it is, it’s so easy to be that way. That to me is like, don’t you just know that the harder thing in this situation is the courageous thing. I don’t know why I never thought of it that way. I just thought if I had to change or adjust that was a weaker point for me in a relationship. It’s been amazing, I’ve loved everything about it, I wouldn’t change any part of it especially too because I think it’s fucking awesome. So I wouldn’t want to change any of it.
To me all that emotion and tapping in that, because I think too for me I never accessed any of these feelings on such a deep level, so it’s a combination of feeling such high level of feelings and love, and everything like that but also feeling them all for the first time. It’s just like, it’s my first day at work and I don’t even know what my job is, but I know I’ve got a job to do. It’s by far the thing that has stretched me the most, made me feel all different feelings, rage and love, the whole spectrum of everything that you could feel. That’s how I look at our dance so far.
Rocio: It’s perfect.
Rocio: Yeah, it’s perfect. I think you hit it right on the nail when you said there is so many levels to this. I’m sure there is books on marriage but everybody’s perception is different. It’s just exciting. It’s exciting for me in so many ways but mainly because I’ve always seen myself as a love warrior, like I wasn’t going to settle for less than I deserved. I wasn’t going to settle for not having this grand love. I didn’t have that example in my life. I didn’t have the example of a love or a relationship that I wanted to mimic, so I wanted to be that example. I truly feel that I’m living that example that I’ve always wanted to live, and that’s so important to me. That is so, so key to me to just be that example for people and to constantly keep evolving with you as my partner and my friend and my husband and my love, and constantly just keep growing and learning about ourselves and each other, and having fun.
Angelo: You know what’s one of my favorite things about you that I love the most?
Angelo: It’s you can make the most simplest boring thing and feel like it’s the best. It’s probably one of your most admirable traits.
Rocio: Thank you.
Angelo: Because if I knew that I would have saved all the money from this fucking Italy trip and there would be zero credit card debt, right Dom? One of the things I’m working on is realizing that more or bigger isn’t better. It’s so great to have you around to help me remember that, and sometimes I’m just like, “is this fucking woman crazy? This sucks”, and you are having a good time, and I’m like, “Oh my god, I want to get the fuck out of here, this is terrible”. It’s probably one of the greatest things because I am usually looking at it maybe from a different way where if it’s not epic just put it away, what are we doing? Save this energy for the epic thing.
Rocio: Oh my god.
Angelo: But it’s great. It’s really good. We’ve had a lot of good stuff this year. You and I also realized after some conflicts that we wanted to hire a coach to help us be better at conflict, not only for us but also for when the day comes that you and I have a child that we are not setting examples that we don’t want to have. What was that like for you? Shout out to Annie Lalla.
Angelo: Annie Lalla is amazing and we love her very much. What was that experience like for you?
Rocio: Shout out to Annie Lalla. Annie I love you so much, I just texted you yesterday, and I’m so grateful that you came into our lives. For me it was like kind of like in the same spectrum of wanting to be the example. I wanted to be the best mom and the best parent, and knowing what we know now about our interactions and the conditioning that we had we take what we want from it and we change what we don’t. That’s the luxury that we get by doing this where we are doing this together and we get to do what we want to do and make it what we want to make it. That was important for me, I don’t want repeat the same mistakes that maybe my parents did that still stay with me. All those interactions that I still remember and just stayed with me I didn’t want to do that, I wanted to be better.
So I said we really got to fix this and work on this before we have kids. Let’s make ourselves better. Remember we had that conversation, and you found Annie. I’ve always been interested in psychology and human beings, and how we interact, and why we do the things that we do. For me it was very exciting, very exciting to just learn about myself and learn about you, because at first we started having calls where we were separate, right?
Rocio: So we were having calls with Annie for an hour where I would talk about maybe conflicts with things that came up for me, some feelings, emotions, and the next week it would be you. We were going back and forth like that.
Rocio: How was that for you?
Angelo: When you know something is there good or bad but you can’t define it, but then once you talk to somebody and they are like, ‘boom, boom, boom’, and the whole thing just made much more sense, that’s how I felt at the very beginning of Annie’s calls. I was like, oh god, no shit, she is my wife and why I married her and why she married me, this totally makes sense. Not that I couldn’t articulate it but you just really don’t know, like the tree types of geniuses that Annie talks about. There’s three types of geniuses: there’s physical genius, emotional genius, and mental genius. Physical genius is anybody that does something that other people could see or do; like me I’m an entrepreneur and I can make things that people could see and measure. Then there’s people that are just genius, unbelievable geniuses with their thoughts. Then there’s last that people could really feel deep and crazy amazing level of emotions.
You usually pick your mate that’s the complete opposite of you. For me I’m a physical genius, I’m okay with thoughts, I’m pretty good with thoughts and then I’m in special Ed class for the emotional department, and you are the complete opposite. It’s just so crazy that the things I love about you are the things that I want to put a pillow over your face about. It’s the same thing. It’s so crazy to think about it in that aspect; the things I love you for and the things that drive me crazy about you are the things I do really easy, and that’s what drives me crazy about you.
It’s like you know that but you can’t appreciate it and make room for it until somebody- for me anyway, helped me get it because things would come up and there wasn’t that voice before I would respond till after that first beginning calls with Annie. I think that was like, ‘oh god, she is not supposed to be this way, so why I’m I holding her to being this the way I am?’ That to me was very liberating time to know that you are always going to be 5 minutes fucking late and I’m going to have to live with this the rest of my entire life.
Rocio: No way.
Angelo: You’ve gotten much better.
Rocio: I have.
Angelo: That’s one of the things—I like being very prompt, and my wife is not, that’s a physical trait, showing up to a place directly on time, and Rocio is an emotional genius and a physical special Ed, so there’s moments when that comes up. Much like what you mentioned too earlier in the talk about your program, that’s an example of that. You are not even built, geared to be that way. I thought that was a very, very enlightening time for our relationship.
Angelo: How long did we work with Annie for? Did we work for three months?
Rocio: Three months, yeah.
Angelo: I think that’s what we did.
Rocio: That was so big for us. That was so big for us because we were having a lot of conflicts around that stuff, and we couldn’t really understand why.
Angelo: Especially at the gym.
Angelo: I did a shitty job of being pissed at you at the gym and then I would be pissed at you at home.
Rocio: You think you did a shitty job?
Angelo: I do.
Rocio: Oh my god, no way. I think the total opposite.
Angelo: What do you mean?
Rocio: I think that you were amazing at being pissed at me at the gym and then you come home and you are like, “hey Ro, how was your day?” and I’m sitting there fuming from the interaction that we had at the gym and I couldn’t drop it.
Angelo: Okay, maybe that was it then. I just knew that it was at home.
Rocio: No, I did a shitty job of doing that, but I had a tough time separating it. I’ve said this to you many times where you are used to being the boss and I’m the employee and I’ve always just wanted to be talked to in a specific way, that never changed. I think you know that. I’ve always wanted to be talked to in a specific way, and I think that it was hard for you to do that. When I became your wife I was emotional, emotional, emotional, where you weren’t talking to me in the way that I wanted you to talk to me and I would carry it home with me. But you would be here and it was like clean slate, like you were a different person, two people, which is how it should be, right? But I just couldn’t separate that.
Angelo: What do you think changed?
Rocio: We understood each other a lot more. That whole thing with Annie where we realized that it drains you to do the things that I’m good at and vice versa, like being emotional and understanding your feelings and talking about your feelings and articulating them, that drains you because it’s not where you are mastered at.
Angelo: Slit my wrist is worse, it’s fucking worse. I have a fucking 5-minute conversation about my feelings I need a 30-minute fucking nap, I work 16 hours a day for a year and I’ll be fine. 5 minutes of talking about my feelings I’m starving and I’m fucking culled in a ball, be back in 20. This drains me.
Rocio: For me it drains me to have to be on all the time. I can’t work 16-hour days, I go freaking nuts. I go freaking nuts.
Angelo: I don’t think I work 16-hour days, that’s a little ridiculous, but you guys get the point, you get the analogy.
Rocio: Maybe the analogy of being prompt it drains me because I’d rather someone wait for me than me wait for them. I’m silly and it feels silly saying it.
Angelo: Damn, it’s fucking straight disrespectful.
Rocio: Totally, right? But I’m working on that.
Angelo: Oh good.
Rocio: I own up to it. It’s been a habitual thing and it’s a cultural thing and I’ve been taught that it’s okay, and now I realize, holy crap, you are late, you are leaving someone without experience, like that’s shitty.
Angelo: It’s fucked up.
Rocio: Yeah, totally, and now I see it. But it all comes with growth, that’s it.
Angelo: What’s funny too is when I first started hanging out with Dom, I wonder if I attract people that move into that realm, because Dom, fucking guy I remember just screaming at him, fucking guy couldn’t show up on time for anything; working out, going out, zero. I’m just like, ‘dude, don’t you get what’s happening right now?’ He gets it now though, so shout out to Dom and your evolution buddy. I don’t know if our friendship would have made it if that didn’t change. I was that crazy about it at the time. What would you like our relationship goals to be for 2019? If this was December, around Christmas time we are recording this, if this was in a year from now, say it in the first person, what is our life like in a year from now?
Rocio: We have a baby. We have a baby a couple of months old.
Angelo: That means the baby is born in October, alright.
Rocio: Or we are just having a baby, if it’s up to you it would be on the 8th of December.
Rocio: The 6th of December.
Angelo: I’m shooting for December 6th guys. If anybody has any sort of advice about this I’m really hoping for a December 6th baby.
Rocio: Everybody is going to comment and be like, ‘oh, you have to do this now’.
Angelo: You know what you’ve got to do when you are done you’ve got to do 15 burpees on top of her to really shake it up, okay, thanks guys, something really stupid.
Rocio: Somebody is going to say something. We have a baby, our first baby and Masculine Mastery is booming, Warrioress evolution is booming, the gym is rocking and booming.
Angelo: What’s rocking and booming mean for Warrioress Evolution?
Rocio: I have retreats that I want to do in 2019. My retreats have been successful and I have clients that I’m working with. I want to have 7 clients a month where I’m working with people and helping them with their stuff.
Angelo: That’s awesome. So we’ve got a baby, your program is rocking and booming, fucking booming- anything else?
Rocio: I still see us where we are at now; we don’t need anything more as far as space goes. I like where we are at, it’s close to the gym. What else? We are still evolving, I’d like to really just do that with you every year where we are constantly pushing the envelope when we are doing different things and we are learning about each other and different ways of playing and getting outside of our comfort zone. I never want to stop doing that with you. That’s all I see right now.
Angelo: It’s awesome. I’d like to make a baby to be born on December 6th.
Angelo: 2019. What else? For me I just want us to be the people that we are supposed to be. Everything else, all the business stuff is great and I understand for you, you are in the very birth of birthing your baby, so not baby but just your business. It’s a little bit different for me. I want to be what I need to be and you need to be what you need to be so we could be where we need to be for us. I just love the people that are around us right now. When I go to work and when I look at my phone I get so fucking pumped up with the people that we get to talk to at work or with the programs or even in our lives, this is the fucking best our families have been ever. I just love it so much and I know that it won’t always be as high as it is right now, but I’m crazy enough to hope that it can be. I just love riding this wave of where life is right now, I just want to still feel that way, so connected to the people that we have in our lives.
I feel like the people that enter our lives are entering them because they are supposed to be there and people that maybe exiting our lives it’s just a little time away too, and that’s totally fine, that’s where it’s supposed to be. I just love that part of our lives, and that means a lot to me. It’s a really big deal to keep in our forefront, at least for me. I feel like the environment that I have around me and you have around you and us it just matters so much more than a lot of other things. That’s worth not working an extra hour for, to go have a better relationship. To me that is worth not working for to maintain those things and just connect with people on a real special level that is more than just what we are doing for them or they are doing for us and show like them.
Rocio: Yeah, that’s awesome.
Angelo: Ro this is your first official podcast, how do you feel? Tell the listeners how you feel about an hour deep?
Rocio: I feel energized. I love having these kinds of conversations, and it was a lot easier than I thought it would be. I’m so nervous my hands are clammy.
Angelo: You had to talk to me for an hour. What we are going to do then because I’m going to challenge you whenever we are going through something that we do a podcast about that because I know that right now we are riding fucking high and it’s perfect. But I don’t want to just appear that perfect means without flaws.
Rocio: Neither do I, I mentioned that at the beginning of the podcast; vulnerability is definitely one of my strengths. I have no problem talking about my weaknesses or the things that I’ve fucked up in my life.
Angelo: Alright, good. I’m going to start a good list of all the things you fucked up on and we’ll have a great podcast just me roasting you for three hours.
Angelo: What does Alpha Hippie mean to you?
Rocio: Okay, I’ve got to proposition this because I obviously have been with you since the inception of Alpha Hippie, and we’ve been talking about this. So this was probably a year now, a year and a half since I wrote it, but here it goes: to me alpha hippie means being a warrior, a student of life and love, the type of person who owns their spectrum and is not defined by it. Alpha hippies want to feel and make others feel too, they are relentless in this pursuit. That is what alpha hippie means to me.
Angelo: I’m glad we got that in there, right or right babe?